As summer comes to an end and it’s starting to be that time of year again to transition back into school, it is important to discuss the topic of bullying. The dynamics of bullying can be complex and go much deeper than the classic image of a physically aggressive bully who may shove another into a locker. The roles of the victim, bystanders, and aggressor aren’t always clear-cut. Whether it’s physical, verbal, or social, any type of bullying can truly have an impact on an individual and should be detected early. The impacts of bullying can lead to depression, loss of confidence and self-worth, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Being aware of the different types of bullying that occur as well as learning actionable steps for parents plays an important role in protecting your child.
Physical bullying: Physical bullying is possibly the most recognizable form, involving acts of aggression that could cause discomfort or even harm to the victim. This can encompass hitting, pushing, tripping, or any other direct physical assaults. The scars left by physical bullying extend far beyond visible cuts and bruises, often leading to a sense of fear, humiliation, and vulnerability in the victim. If a child or adolescent experiences physical bullying, they may grow reluctant to engage in social activities or peer relationships due to a fear of encountering further physical violence.
Social Bullying: Social bullying operates differently than physical bullying as it isn’t always outwardly visible. It is also a bit more challenging to detect because it typically occurs behind closed doors or online. Social bullying involves manipulating relationships, spreading rumors, exclusion, and fostering a sense of isolation for an individual. This type of bullying can take an emotional toll on victims leading to a sense of loneliness and anxiety. For parents or caregivers, recognizing signs of social bullying can be quite challenging, but maintaining open lines of communication with your child is essential and can provide crucial insights into their well-being.
Cyber Bullying: This type of bullying has emerged as a prominent concern over the last few years due to social media. Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that utilizes technology to humiliate, threaten, and harass individuals from behind a screen through social media, text messages, or other online platforms. Unlike traditional forms of bullying, escaping from the torment of cyberbullying is often more difficult for victims. Adolescents are typically more subjected to cyberbullying and can struggle with feelings of helplessness as well as an invasion of privacy. For parents, it is important to educate their children about responsible online behaviors early on and help create a healthy online space.
Silent or Secret Bullying: Silent or secret bullying is not often discussed as it tends to involve more subtle tactics and occurs predominantly in friend groups. These tactics include manipulation, malicious gossip, and social exclusion from other friends. Oftentimes, there is a ringleader, a bystander, and a victim. This type of bullying can cause a significant amount of confusion and hurt feelings for children and adolescents. A key to helping your child recognize this type of bullying is educating them on the characteristics and traits of a ‘good’ friend. As well as, encouraging and supporting emotional intelligence in your home. An excellent book choice to support educating your child on this type of bullying is ‘My Secret Bully’ by Trudy Ludwig.
Actionable Steps for Parents:
Practice Open Dialogue: Initiate honest conversations with your child or adolescent about experiences at school and online. Ask open-ended questions; to understand their feelings and interactions better.
Educate on Digital Etiquette: Teach your child early on about the importance of responsible and respectful online communication and behaviors. Explain the potential risks and consequences of cyberbullying and encourage them to report those behaviors to you if it may occur.
Stay Informed: Monitor within reason and keep up-to-date with the latest social media platforms and trends to better understand your child’s online interactions.
Promote Empathy: Always encourage your child to put themselves in others’ shoes. Help them understand the impacts of their actions and words on their peers.
Create a Safe Environment: Establish a safe space at home where your children feel comfortable sharing their concerns or emotions without fear of punishment or judgment.
By implementing these steps, parents can create a strong foundation of trust and communication with their children about the topic of bullying. This proactive approach can lead to self-confidence, increased emotional resilience, and a greater sense of security for your child. They will be more aware of how to handle bullying situations and seek help when needed. Your child also may be more inclined to notice and support another child if they notice possible bullying. Lack of awareness and action could lead to the escalation of bullying incidents as well as hurt a child’s well-being. Parents who recognize and address various forms of bullying can have a profound impact on their child’s life. It is completely normal to feel alarmed by these topics but you are equipped to empower your child to navigate bullying. If you feel that your child may be a victim of bullying or you need more guidance, please inform your therapist or your child’s therapist for more support.
Here are some further resources that have been helpful for parents and caregivers:
● www.stopbullying.gov – This is the official anti-bullying website of the U.S. Government which offers resources to parents and teachers to help prevent and detect bullying.
● www.stompoutbullying.org – Stomp Out Bullying was a resource that was created strictly for parents and caregivers who learn that their child may be a victim of bullying. It outlines tips and different ways to better understand bullying.
● www.SafeKids.com – The mission of this resource is to promote safer digital space for children and focus on anti-bullying efforts on cyberbullying prevention and awareness.
● https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/ – This website is the home of the National Bullying Prevention Center and has a list of resources on prevention, facts, alternatives, and different types of bullying to help support a world with no bullying.
● www.Parents.com – Offers suggestions on how parents can ‘bully proof’ their children by encouraging behaviors that are positive and teaching them to get support if they feel that they may need it.
Written By Kaitlyn Pacelli Cunningham, LCSWA
Throughout September, we are highlighting resources around Back to School and Talking to Your Children about Mental Health. If you or a loved one need professional support, our counselors at Mathews Counseling are available for appointments. Request to book today!
