In our society, so much focus is often put on romantic love.  We have romance novels, shows, and movies.  So much of our mindset is influenced by the idea that romantic love is THE love we should be striving for. The reality is, we can have so many types of love in our lives.  As humans, we can develop all kinds of connections and relationships with others.  This means we have the potential to develop a whole variety of love! 

One type of love that does not receive as much recognition, but can offer a depth of fulfillment, is platonic love. You may be unfamiliar with this type of love. However, the idea of platonic love originated from the great philosopher, Plato.  This means this idea of love dates back to around 400 BCE.  Plato wrote a series of poems and speeches that explored the idea of love going beyond the physical. In simple terms, platonic love is a love that does not involve romantic or physical attraction but still possesses a deep connection between two people.  Essentially this love is friendship with a very close, meaningful, and deep bond. 

Now that you know what platonic love is, you may be wondering how you can develop it! Here are 4 steps to welcome the power of platonic love into your life. 

1. Open your mind to love not focused on romance

As I said earlier, our society puts so much focus on romantic love.  In return, we may put pressure on ourselves to have romantic love.  If we don’t have romance in our life, we may feel down on ourselves or like we aren’t worthy of love and connection. But this isn’t the case! You are worthy of all types of love and capable of building all types of connections. When you open your mind to the idea that romantic love isn’t the goal, you can put your focus elsewhere. You can form all kinds of deep connections with people. Shifting your mindset to focus less on romance and more on genuine, deep connection is the first step to developing platonic love with others!

2. Know your connection points

Knowing yourself is another step to making deeper connections with others. It’s important to know what your interests, passions, and topics are that you enjoy talking to others about.  If you know this about yourself, then you can seek out others who also enjoy the same things. This will likely be a connection point!  Find somebody with whom you can discuss your favorite conspiracy theories, hopes, dreams, or views on the universe. We can only get to know others as deeply as we know ourselves after all!

3. Get Vulnerable

Deep connections require vulnerability. To pass the surface level, you’ve got to dig a little deeper than chats about the weather.  Getting vulnerable means opening up to somebody else about yourself.  This may feel uncomfortable to practice at first.  With a little practice and trust in another person, soon vulnerability won’t feel so difficult.  While it can be scary, being more transparent with others leads to deeper connections.  This deeper connection is the foundation needed to form platonic love!

4. Prioritize growing connections you already have

The idea of forming deep connections with brand-new people may feel extremely intimidating.  While this is possible, it may be easier to focus on deepening connections you already have.  Is there anybody in your life you’d like to know better? Is there anyone you can see being a potential bestie? Maybe there is but you just haven’t taken the opportunity to explore the connection further. This may be your chance! It is likely you already have some relationships with a good foundation to build off of. Platonic love can be found anywhere. You just need two people who care a lot about each other and who are willing to put in the work to connect deeper. I encourage you to think about who you may want to form a deeper connection with and go from there.

If you’ve been desiring deeper connection in your life but are tired of the pressure to have a romantic relationship, I hope this post felt encouraging to you! Platonic love is just as powerful as romantic love and can be just as fulfilling. Here’s to seeking deeper connections with others and knowing that we have the capability for so many different types of love. 


Written By Logan Seelman, LCSWA


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