STRESS AWARENESS: How to Help Your Kids De-Stress

Are you a parent or guardian who has noticed some unusual shifts in your child’s mood or behavior? This could be due to any number of factors, but I’m wondering if something as simple as “stress” has crossed your mind? As adults, we face tons of stressors in our day to day lives. The phrase “stressed out” is an extremely common one amongst adults in our society. Whether it’s from jobs, relationships, family, school, keeping the house clean, money; we get stressed. Have you ever thought that kids may get stressed out sometimes too?

The idea of kids being stressed out is a less common one. You may be thinking, “What could they possibly have to be stressed about? They’re just kids after all”. It may seem unlikely if we’re comparing children to adults because they don’t have the same problems or stressors that adults do. However, kids can be stressed too. I’m a therapist at Mathews Counseling that works with many ages, but one of my specialties is working with kids around ages 7-12. From my experience, I’ve seen firsthand that so many of the issues that kids are facing are rooted in stress. They tend to be stressed about things like school performance, grades, friendships, and family dynamics. Stress is something we are all going to experience sometimes as it is a normal part of life. It’s what we do with stress and the other feelings it brings up that really matter though! 

Here are some steps you can take to help your kids de-stress. 

Create safe and supportive spaces for your kids to be able to talk about their feelings.

The first step to being able to help your kids work through their stress is for them to talk about it. Kids need to feel like they can bring things up to their parent/guardians without fear of judgement or negative reactions. In order to be a safe and supportive space for your kid’s feelings, you have to let them know it’s okay to talk about feelings in the first place. A simple way to show your kids this is to model it. Maybe you start by telling them how you are feeling that day. Make it known that whether they are feeling positive or negative emotions, all feelings are welcome. Then listen. Let them tell you what they want to. Don’t push them to share more than they want, but do ask questions that show that you are interested and care what they have to say!

Acknowledge and validate that your kids may feel stress

If your kid tells you they are feeling stressed out and any number of the feelings that may come with that, validate it! Validating feelings looks like thanking your kid for sharing with you, and essentially accepting it. You may say something like “that makes a lot of sense” or “it’s okay to feel this way sometimes”. Alternatively, your child may not be able to specifically identify feeling stress. This is an opportunity for you to explain what feeling “stressed” can be to them. Stress for kids may feel like a lot of pressure, feeling overwhelmed, or even worried.

Introduce some kid-friendly coping skills

Once you’ve identified and acknowledged the unpleasant feelings, you can introduce a coping skill. There are so many great ways for kids to cope but I’ll just give you a few easy ideas! You may encourage your child to take some deep breaths. A fun way to teach this to kids is to pretend you are blowing bubbles through a bubble wand. Make sure to focus on deep inhales, and longer exhales if possible. Movement of some sort is another great way for kids to get out their stressful energy. Anything from going on a short walk to doing some jumping jacks may be helpful. Finally, just encouraging your kid to express their feelings in some way is helpful! This can be through talking about it, writing about it, or maybe even drawing a picture.

Re-direct them to something fun!

After all of this emotional work is done, I encourage you to do something fun with your kids! Go outside, play their favorite game, or make some art together. The goal of having some fun together is not so much to distract them from their feelings, it’s to let them know it’s going to be okay, even if they feel stress. Doing something fun prevents them from getting stuck and continuing to ruminate on their stress. Instead, it moves them into a place of feeling good again. Hard feelings are perfectly normal and okay to have, however, we don’t have to stay stuck in them! 

If your kids have seemed stressed out lately, I hope this article feels helpful to you! Kids can definitely get stressed too. As a parent or guardian, you can acknowledge these feelings and then help them de-stress. By teaching kids these skills now, we can give them a foundation for being able to cope with stressors into adulthood as well!

By: Logan Seelman, LCSWA