Mental health has become a central societal issue. Amid financial hardship, domestic stress, geopolitical tension, and violence, people must find ways to cope and survive. Men, in particular, are often left out of key mental health conversations, facing environmental and cultural pressures to “toughen up” and “deal with it.” This has led many men to suffer in silence, feeling discouraged from seeking help or believing they are uncared for.
Today, men need support more than ever. In 2022, men died by suicide almost four times as often as women (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 2022). Social support systems have also shifted significantly. In 1990, around 3% of men reported having no close friendships; by 2021, that figure had risen to 15%. Men are also less likely to receive emotional support from friends, with only 21% reporting such support compared to 41% of women.
“Toxic masculinity” is a term often discussed today. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, it encompasses three main traits:
- Toughness: Men are expected to be strong, aggressive, and emotionally guarded.
- Anti-femininity: Men should reject feminine traits, including certain emotions or asking for help.
- Power: A man’s worth is defined by his resources, achievements, and social standing.
While these traits may stem from life experiences, ambition, or natural dispositions, taken to extremes, they can hinder healthy coping, limit support systems, and perpetuate harmful behaviors. Research supports a link between rigid masculine norms and men’s mental health. A 2022 study found that men who conform to traditional norms, such as self-reliance and emotional restraint, are less likely to seek professional help (Eggenberger, et al., 2022). Often, men with depression express symptoms like irritability, anger, or difficulty showing emotion. They are also more likely to use substances to cope, leading to unrecognized distress (Addis, M.E., 2008).
Here are five ways to support the men in your life:
- Check in regularly: After a challenging week, it’s natural to want to process experiences with loved ones. Men are often told that “complaining doesn’t help,” leading them to “just keep going.” Show genuine concern and ask how they’re really feeling. You can’t force anyone to talk, but you can create a safe space for these conversations.
- Be present: Social isolation is a common symptom of men’s mental health struggles. Simply being there can offer support. A call or in-person conversation allows your friend to express himself without pressure.
- Show love and appreciation: There’s still stigma around how men express emotions with each other. If you care about your friend, let him know. Phrases like “Stay strong!” may unintentionally pressure him. Instead, be explicit in your support.
- Model emotional expression: Showing a range of emotions can help young men understand and process their feelings. Men experience a full spectrum of emotions beyond anger. Facing anxiety, sadness, or grief with honesty benefits mental well-being, friendships, and romantic relationships.
- Encourage emotional exploration: Encourage men to explore their emotions, making it clear that experiencing a range of feelings is normal. This can help foster open dialogue around mental health and emotional support.
By implementing these practices, we can create a more supportive environment for men’s mental health.
By Michael Anders, LCSWA
All November, we are focusing our blog series around discussing mental health issues affecting men . You can find the series here:
Part 1: Men and Mental Health
Part 2: Men and Depression
Part 3: Men and Emotions
Part 4: Men and Support For Other Men
