All March long, we are sharing a three-part series around loneliness. Click here for Part 1 on fighting against loneliness in a relationship. 

Happy Spring Singles. Spring is here and for many singles it is a breath of fresh air after a busy holiday season, especially after Valentine’s Day. The holiday season, in all its wonder, can present various emotions. Sometimes a social media post or that invite to a social event can feel overwhelming during a time of year where families and friends are gathering together often. Especially, when the question is asked, “Are you dating?” or “When are you getting married?”. Even if asked by your favorite loved one, it can bring about emotions you didn’t realize were present and you may not be sure how to navigate managing those emotions. We will discuss that here too. . 

However, it’s that time of year for renewal, even more so than January, because it’s typically a time of year where people are venturing outside more. Still, let’s talk about a topic that is often not discussed, finding joy in singlehood. In this blog post, we will explore the journey of finding joy in singlehood and tangible tips you can add to your regular routine. 

Self-Love is the First Love

When we think about the introduction of self-love, I think about how did you learn about loving yourself? Did it start with your parents, siblings, other  family members, friends, mentors, self-help resources or are you still discovering what self-love is? No matter your origin story of learning about loving yourself, the beauty of the journey is getting to know yourself. To learn your likes and dislikes, to see your growth over the years, and to learn the value in accepting yourself. However, self-love does not magically just happen for most so let’s talk about ways you can increase love for yourself. 

Solo Dates – A solo date is when you go out to do an activity just for you. This could be dining at a restaurant you have been meaning to visit. It could be participating in a crafts or cooking class you have been seeing online. It could be a movie solo date to see that film you have been wanting to see. It could be booking that trip you have been meaning to take for a solo vacation. It’s no longer waiting for someone to invite you to do such activities but it’s where you take the time to embrace what you enjoy! 

Self-Care Plan – A routine or plan to implement into your routine that involves methods of reducing stress, increasing relaxation, and improving self-confidence. When organizing your self-care plan, this can be done yourself or with your therapist. This can begin with making a short list of activities you enjoy that support you in reducing stress and bring you relaxation. 

Those could include the following: 

  • A warm bath with scents such as lavender, eucalyptus, or essential oils
  • Taking a power nap of 45 minutes or less 
  • Exploring a new hobby or becoming activate in a past hobby you enjoyed
  • Booking a spa appointment
  • Cooking your favorite meal 
  • Writing in your journal or planner
  • Booking an appointment with a therapist
  • Learning mindfulness practices such as yoga, pilates, and meditation
  • Increase knowledge in learning breathing techniques to reduce stress
  • Buying clothing or pajamas that make you feel good
  • Explore more time in nature with apps like All Trails https://www.alltrails.com/ 
  • Setting aside time for exercise or physical movement each week 

Building Self-Confidence

Let’s talk about the growth of self-confidence as a single person. Even though you may be at a point in your life where you are currently single but interested in dating or single with little to no interest in dating, building self-confidence is still a valuable trait to have. Here are some ways to increase your self-confidence while being single. 

  • Identify your strengths 
  • Positive reinforcement when negative thoughts occur
  • Journaling a letter to past self to see the growth or challenges you have faced 
  • Set realistic goals that are based on your time management
  • Explore podcasts or books geared towards self-confidence

These are just a few ways to find joy in your singlehood and taking time to really get to know yourself. If you are desiring to have a relationship it is a great opportunity to explore what type of partner you desire by learning about oneself. A great resource is Therapist Aid’s “Relationship Check-In” worksheet https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/relationship-check-in to identify areas about yourself or a potential partner you would like to see. 

By:Kimberly Knight, MSW, LCSWA

Kimberly Knight is a LCSWA at Mathews Counseling. She currently taking new clients but space is limited. Request your appointment today! Learn more about Kimberly here

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