From the moment we are born, our gender identity is often expressed for us, setting expectations we are then expected to understand and follow. Girls wear pink and boys wear blue. Girls wear dresses and boys wear pants. These are classic examples of how we are taught to dress according to gender norms. However, over time, we’ve learned to step outside of the mold that was built for us. Women began dressing in pants and other traditionally male attire around the 60s and 70s. In recent years, many men have started to wear dresses and skirts. We’ve learned that these standards are not set in stone as we continue to explore how clothes define our appearance and roles.

Gender expression is expansive and constantly evolving as we continue to explore and define our identities, which can make things more complicated. How do I dress in a way that allows others to perceive my identity accurately? Thankfully, identity and expression are not intrinsically linked.

Our identity comes from how we feel inwardly about who we are and what gender we feel defines us. In contrast, our expression is what we put forth to be perceived by others. This can be intimidating!

With a history of rigid gender roles, clothing choices become complicated. We learn how our gender is “supposed” to dress based on fashion models, TV, and, more importantly, our peers. But what if you don’t feel entirely one way or the other? How do you dress in a way that aligns with your true gender identity? Will people perceive you as the gender you identify with?

These questions are common among many members of the LGBTQ+ community, as clothes are the easiest form of expression yet can also be a source of insecurity for those who do not fit traditional gender roles. It’s time to separate expression and identity, which, of course, is easier said than done!

Getting comfortable in clothes that reflect your identity is no easy feat. Here are a few tips to help you build a wardrobe that fits your expression:

Keep Identity and Expression Separate

It can be easy to fall into the norms we grew up with, but remember that your identity is not defined by your clothes. Your gender is no more an article of clothing than it is a color or a behavior. As history shows, trends and fashion are shaped by how people feel.

Release Your Inner Child and Play Dress-Up

In the comfort of your own room, try on new outfits and combinations that feel like you. See how they look and feel on your body. Consider what you might want to change or add to better fit your style. More importantly, focus on what you like about the outfit. If makeup is part of your desired look, experiment with new styles before taking a shower. This allows you to truly gauge how you feel about the look, rather than just keeping it as an idea.

Have Patience

Even those who identify with traditional roles take time to build

their own wardrobes. Clothes can be expensive, and finding pieces that express your identity and style takes time and plenty of shopping. Achieving an expression that feels comfortable to you is a journey. Your wardrobe will evolve with you, changing as your interests and styles do. Allow yourself the time to grow and adapt.

While identity and expression are interconnected and can be a source of stress when it comes to dressing and presenting ourselves, there is no one way to express gender. Just as fashion trends change for those who fit traditional roles, the same understanding and flexibility apply to those who do not. Embrace the fluidity of fashion and make it a true reflection of who you are.

In conclusion, understanding that identity and expression are not bound together can liberate you from societal expectations. By experimenting with different styles and allowing yourself the freedom to explore, you can build a wardrobe that truly represents you. Remember, fashion is a powerful tool for self-expression, and there are no strict rules. Your journey towards self-discovery through clothing is personal and unique, and it should be embraced with patience and joy.