Dear Mama, how are you? No really, how are you? Has the long day filled with hearing “mommy” over and over taken its toll? Are you struggling to catch your breath in the midst of the to’s and fro’s of your littles? Does it feel like the last time you had a minute of silence was forever ago? Take one moment now and and take a long breath in and out. And again, in and out.

Mama, how are you feeling? Does the pull of who you used to be and the pull of today’s demands seem to go in opposite directions? I wonder if you look at those jeans you used to love with those shoes, you know the ones, and think “that must have been a different person who wore those.” I wonder if you look at your partner and think about how much you love the loud, messy, beautiful life around you but miss the one you had before the little ones came. That person is still there, deep inside, cheering you on. She’s still so proud of you, even if you look a bit different than before. 

Mama, do you ever cry or miss the parts of you that only come in glimmers? Does the reflection looking back look unfamiliar? Oh Mama, isn’t she amazing? Look at how strong she is. Look at how resilient she is. She got up today and made the best of the day on her hardest day. She has done so many difficult things and survived. How incredible she is, Mama. 

Mama, can I tell you something? Sometimes, I miss the old me all while smiling at the funny things that my mini me says. Sometimes crying is what gives me the strength to do the next hard thing. Mama, some days I’m not sure how I did it or how I’ll ever be able to get through another hard day, but I do. Motherhood is what I wanted and I sure do love it, but it’s the most amazing and difficult thing I’ll ever do. No book or podcast could have ever prepared me for this fully.  Sometimes, I don’t have all the answers to the hard or simple questions and I think that’s okay. Sometimes I try to remember if I gave my husband a hug that day or if I got so busy rushing out of the door and forgot. Mama, we don’t have to have it all figured out. We just have to take things one day at a time, with grace for ourselves. And Mama, somedays are harder than others, but you can make it. 

Last thing Mama, you aren’t alone. You have a tribe of all those other mamas, parents, caregivers, and beyond who are cheering for you. Remember, you are so strong but you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Lean on those around you for support. Talk about the things that hurt your heart. Give yourself the space to breathe. Tap into that old you that’s still deep inside, and give yourself the grace that you’re doing the best you can. You’re spectacular Mama. Never forget that.

By Amber Diamond

Throughout November, we are focusing on how to dealing with postpartum depression. If you or a loved one need professional support, our counselors at Mathews Counseling are available for appointments. Request your appointment today!

 

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