In the final installment of this three part blog series, I present some exceptionally common reasons why therapy would be beneficial.
You know that dream? The one where you are at school/work/party and then you are suddenly and unexpectedly naked at school/work/party? And then everyone is pointing and laughing and you back up slowly trying to cover up with anything you can find.
I have had this dream even into adulthood. And usually I am naked in the most random places. At a park. At a concert. On stage just before I take the stage as the lead in the musical Cats. Which is weird because I’ve never even seen Cats. Mostly though it’s on a cruise ship. I don’t know what kind of natical psychois I should be diagnosied with but I do know you’ll never catch me at the magician’s act on the Ledo Deck. You know, just as a precaution.
I think everyone has some form of the naked-in-public dream. (Though in fairness, probably without the musical and cruise ship variations.) While there are multiple interpretations, I think it tends to signal a common thread among us as humans.
We hate to be exposed.
Worse still when we are alone in the exposure. Everyone exposed at the same time would still be uncomfortable for some but it would not be near as humilating as being the lone nudist in a sea of clothed indiviudals.
But it’s not just phsyical exposure we’re dreading here. It’s also emotional exposure. We tend to prefer isolation with our shame-filled problems, the ones we feel are ours to struggle through alone. And these problems ever saw the light of day, we would be as exposed as solo-nudity on a cruise ship.”Surely,” we say, “it is better and far safer to keep it to ourselves?”
This fear leads us to hold tightly to these problems, keeping them secret from anyone who does not absoltuely have to know. We struggle with them internally, trying every trick we know of to fix it.
Except solutions to the toughest internal problems more often then not require us to be vulnerable. Solutions require us to risk the exposure it takes to be vulnerable.
You need therapy to provide a safe place to be vulnerable.
Brene Brown says this about vulnerability: ““Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” ”
Without fail, I have seen this to be true. When we began to risk and bring our inner private struggles into the light, hope returns and solutions seem within our reach.
Therapy provides a safe place by:
1. Providing a confidential and non-judgemental environment. Your therapist has heard it all and will not be shocked by your darkest thought. And, BONUS!, they legally cannot tell anyone else. Your secret pain is stays within the walls of the therapy room until you are ready to risk further.
2. Lending you the courage needed to be vulnerable. Vulnerability takes courage and courage comes easier when you have someone standing with you. We all borrow courage from others and therapists are not stingy lenders.
3. Giving you a place to start. Vulnerability is, unfortunately, not a one time process. It is a journey and therapy simply gives you a place to begin.
In therapy, you get to safely test the value of vulnerability and possibly become less fearful of those pesky naked dreams.
